A chemical analysis:

Element:  Woman
Symbol:   WO
Atomic Weight:  Accepted as 118, but known to vary from sub 100 to over 200
Discoverer:  Adam
Occurrence:   Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties:

1. Surface usually covered with painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if used incorrectly.
5. Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure properly applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:

1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many of the Precious Stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
5. Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
6. Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses: 

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
3. Can warm and comfort.
4. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
2. Illegal and dangerous to possess more than one in most places.

This analysis is the combination of two of my predecessor's research. A note that I think is beneficial to add is that for some reason, their hair color is likely to have a profound effect on their actions and abilities.

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